


Lost

by LittleLuxxie



Series: Moments of falling [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxxie/pseuds/LittleLuxxie
Summary: Cullen didn't realize he was in love with Idun Trevelyan until it was almost too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cullen POV

She was walking in front of Cullen and he was studying her back. She had a new purpose in her strand. Even if she had stumbled into the camp cold and exhausted two days before, she had insisted on walking at the front.

She had come so far from that unwilling young woman who had been thrown out of the Fade. In the beginning, she had protested every time they asked for her opinion, every time they asked her to decide their course of action. She had said she was no one special, she didn't know anything about all this, had never been fighting before. Not more than basic magic training.

He hadn't blamed her for her reluctant attitude. She was a Circle mage, not used to getting to decide anything for herself. Of course, since she had been at the Conclave she must've opposed the Circles in some fashion. That didn't change the fact that this was totally new to her. The fact that she handled it with an excess of humor and sarcasm had annoyed him initially. He hadn't thought she was taking this seriously.

But he had quickly been taken out of that delusion. Everything she did was for the good of them all and she had been thinking it through. Even if she had been reluctant to the position she had been put in, she wore it well. Much better than many others would have. He had been impressed. Especially since he had been uneasy with the fact that they were going to give a mage such an influence of the Inquisition. But she had the mark, so there was nothing more to say about the matter.

She was the Herald of Andraste, however much she tried to deny it. If she had in fact been chosen by Andraste herself didn't matter. After the events at Haven, everybody believed in her and would follow her to the death.

He had seen her back that time too and been sure it would be the last he saw of her. She had proved herself before, but staying at Haven as a decoy and then bury the place in a landslide? He hadn't been able to see a way she would be able to return to them. He had wanted to scream after her, stop her and force her to come with them. But he hadn't of course. He had given her back one last look, then turned around, determined to make her sacrifice worth it.

In the hours afterward he hadn't been able to do anything but blame himself. They had been caught like sitting ducks and it was his fault. He should've prepared. It was his fault that she had stayed. He hadn't been able to come up with a better idea. It was the only thing to do in that moment. They all would've died otherwise. Now they had got almost everyone out. But his stomach had felt like it was filled with stone, it had been a high price to pay. She was gone.

And then by some miracle, she had come stumbling down the slope towards their camp. They all ran up to meet her, him at the front. When she caught them in her sights, she passed out. He and Cassandra had carried her to camp with a combined effort. When he later learned, she wasn't critically injured, just cold, dehydrated and exhausted, he hadn't known what to think. Miracle indeed.

What he had done his best to deny for a long time was no use anymore. However, many times he told himself she was a mage, he couldn't see it as a problem. How much he tried to think about how annoying her constant joking was, he couldn't see it as anything else but endearing. She was funny, she could make him laugh in the most bizarre situations. It wasn't something he usually did. Every time he thought about her reluctance to lead them, he only saw how much she had overcome. She was clever and cunning, gave them clever ideas all the time. And yet she was humble enough to listen to their advice.

Even with everything that had happened, he just wanted to run forth and pick her up. Hug her tightly and never let go, never let what happened at Haven happen again. It had been crystal clear when he saw the landslide fall over Haven, that he was lost. Totally clear why his stomach had fluttered every time he saw her for weeks, months maybe. Why he always searched for her in a crowd. Why he slept so uneasy every time she and the team were out on missions. Why he'd been in such a good mood every time she wanted to just talk with him. That it had taken such extreme measures for him to realize it was unfortunate. But she was back, she was alive.

She turned her head and looked back at him. Her green eyes met his, and he got a wide smile. It felt like a great gift every time she smiled like that. He was lost, so damn lost, and he smiled back.


End file.
